New McDonalds Sandwich

The McJackson: 50 year old mean between 12 year old buns.

Michael Jackson Funeral

Details have emerged. His body will be buried in Gary, Indiana; his nose, Los Angeles, and his chin in Dubai, UAE.

The Impossible Quiz

Classic Article: Bob Dole's Secret Economic Plan

There's a lot of talk of what's in Republican Presidential candidate Bob Dole's secret economic plan. Well, we found out where it is. He buried it in his backyard. And now he can't find it.

Sources close to the campaign said that he put them there in fear that Bill Clinton would announce the same thing, and they've been digging for quite some time. "It's just not there" said one worker.

We here at Cropcircles, however, have better methods of finding lost items like secret economic plans. We use our psychic friend. We contacted her at only $12.95 per minute to help us discover what was in the plan. Her revelations include:

(1) A 33% reduction in taxes, across the board
(2) Government cutbacks in all programs
(3) Opening a spice trade route to the far east
(4) High technology items like paper clips get priority
(5) Kathy Lee Gifford named Secretary of Labor
(6) Legalization of child slave labor
(7) Cody Gifford gets a new pony

Happy New Year!!!

Yes, we're back. We got Billy Joe Bob Jim Smith writing songs again. We have Ferdinand Lovejones writing his advice column. We have our unpaid interns hauling nuclear waste. We even tracked down our old secretary Bambi to provide eye candy for us all. And we're going to do what we do best. OK, shoving chocolate up our nostrils isn't really what we're talking about. No, and it's not getting extended use out of our underwear.

Oh, if you don't remember us, we had a simple website back in the mid-90's called CropCircles.Com, which was the funniest place to visit on the web, where we presented the most twisted of news stories (we use the term loosely) to torment everyone's sanity. We'll also be presenting our classic archieve as well!

Welcome Back!!!